Elevators and Bathrooms
by ShelbyElizabeth
Summary: NFA Hangman prize for Smackalicious, based on the prompt Fornell/Franks/locked. Be warned, this is crack!fic. Everything read here is not meant to be taken seriously. Features childish Gibbs and some McGiva.


"Gibbs, come out of there!" Fornell demanded.

"No!" a stubborn voice yelled back.

Fornell banged his fist against the door angrily. "You can't stay in there forever, Gibbs!"

"Agent Fornell, why are you abusing my elevator?" Director Vance halted behind Fornell and folded his arms across his chest.

Fornell sighed; the day was not going as he had planned. "It's Gibbs, Director; he's locked himself in the elevator and is refusing to come out. Well, not locked, but he's engaged the emergency stop. I don't think he's going to come out anytime soon."

Vance was confused. "I'm not used to the eccentricities of Agent Gibbs, but I fail to see why this is any concern of yours, Agent Fornell."

Ziva, Tim, and Tony peeked over the low wall blocking their desks from view of the elevator, ducking down when Fornell glared their way.

"Do you think he saw us?" Tim whispered frightfully.

"There is only one way to tell," Ziva answered, "Tony, go find out."

"Me? I'm not the one who's curious. Probalicious, go find out if Fornell saw us spying," Tony commanded.

"I can hear you, DiNutso. And yes, I saw all three of you," Fornell called.

Tony cursed under his breath and then straightening up. "Right, sorry about that," he smiled, rushing back to his desk to pretend that he was working.

"I'm waiting," Vance reminded, tapping his foot on the carpeted floor.

"He has my file," Fornell growled back.

Vance nodded. "I see. Well, I can think of someone who can get him out of there…"

McGee and Ziva remained crouched behind her desk. "I cannot believe Gibbs locked himself in the elevator. That completely ruins our plans for this afternoon," Ziva whispered.

"Not necessarily," Tim smiled.

"Bathroom?"

"Ten minutes," McGee attempted to stand up, but Ziva grasped his jacket and pulled him back down.

"Five minutes."

"Deal."

…

**Five Minutes Later…**

Tony subtly dropped out of his chair and onto the floor, and crawled back to his original hiding spot. "Probie, Ziva? Where did they go?"

…

**Fifteen Minutes Later…**

Vance was all out of options. He had tried everything to get Gibbs to exit the elevator. He had called up Abby, Ducky, and even Palmer, to try and get him out. No luck.

"I give up!" he threw his hands into the air for dramatic effect, "We'll just have to wait for him to come out on his own."

"With all due respect, Director, I don't really intend to stay in this incredibly orange building any longer than I have to. Gibbs could be in there for days, and I need that file!" Fornell paced back and forth.

Abby stepped forward. "I have a suggestion…"

…

**About Four Hours Later…**

"Probie, open this door right now!"

There was no response. Franks pounded on the door just as Fornell had earlier that day.

Tony walked over from his desk having given up his charade of working. "It's no use, Franks. He's not coming out for anyone," he stopped next to the retired agent.

Both men stared at the shiny, silver doors, when suddenly- WHAP! - a hand came flying out of nowhere and smacked Tony

"Ouch, what was that for?" Tony rubbed the back of his head.

"For thinking that Probie doesn't have a good reason for lockin' himself in an elevator!"

Tony took three big steps backward, mumbling to himself. "Could give Gibbs a run for his money…"

"Probie, will you get out of there?" Franks was getting frustrated.

"No!" Gibbs responded with the same stubborn shout.

Franks felt like he was dealing with a child. "Will you at least tell me why you're in there?"

There was a moment of silence, and then "Fornell made fun of my hair."

The clump of people surrounding the elevator groaned. "We've wasted a whole afternoon because of hair?" Vance looked furious.

"Um, well, I was giving Gibbs a trim," Abby explained, "But the light in the lab was weird, so one side looked shorter than the other, so I tried to even in out, but then that side looked too short, so I tried to cut the other side to match it, and it kept going like that until I realized that there was almost no hair left on one side, so I did the same thing to the other side, you know, to make it symmetrical, and then he saw his reflection on my computer screen and he took off. I'm guessing that he ran into Fornell while he was running, and Fornell said something mean to him," she stopped to breath and glare at the FBI agent, "So he grabbed the file and ran into the elevator."

"Probie, is that all true?" Franks asked in the most patient voice he could manage.

"Yes."

He rolled his eyes; the whole situation was preposterous; he had given up beer on a Mexican beach to try and coax a childlike Gibbs out of an elevator. The day was shot to hell. "Will you please come out? We promise not to laugh."

"Okay."

There was a loud DING, and the doors slid open.

Every person who was watching the scene had to fight the urge to burst out laughing. Gibbs looked miserable, like a sad, lost, ugly puppy. His hair was not just extremely short on the sides, it was practically non-existent.

"See, that wasn't so hard, now was it?" Franks would have sounded motherly if it wasn't for his deep, scruffy voice.

Gibbs shook his head.

"Can you give Agent Fornell his file back?"

He held out the folder. Fornell snatched it out of his hands and rushed away, containing his laughter until he was a safe distance away.

The crowd slowly dispersed until only Gibbs, Franks, Vance and Tony were left. One look from Vance made Tony skedaddle back to his desk.

"Thank you, Mike," Vance shook his hand, "I owe you one."

"Yeah you do," he agreed, "Now I'm getting out of here, now that my work is done. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a bottle of beer waiting for me on a Mexican beach, and I intend to go enjoy it."

He stepped into the elevator without another word and left, leaving Gibbs and Vance standing alone. "Don't worry, Gibbs; it's just hair; it grows back. You've had a long day, why don't you go home and work on your boat; that'll make everything good as new."

"Alright," Gibbs grumbled, not particularly proud of his actions, or his new haircut.

He jammed an NCIS cap onto his head, packed up his stuff and went home.

A few hours later, the majority of NCIS did the same. Everyone went home and settled in for a good night's rest.

…

**Meanwhile…**

McGee and Ziva stepped out of the men's room, straightening each others clothing. "You look fine, how do I look?" she asked.

"Great."

They looked around at the dimmed room. "Where did everybody go?

Tim looked at his watch. "Home, I guess. It's nearly midnight."

Ziva glanced up at him. "You know, there is no one here," she placed her hand on his chest and slowly dragged it down.

He grabbed her and pulled her back into the bathroom, where they stayed, all night, fully prepared for probing questions from Tony that the next day was sure to bring, and to face Gibbs, who would greet them cheerfully with his new haircut.


End file.
